Monday, April 04, 2005

Homeless Riff

[Humor]
Have you ever seen one of those homeless guys in NYC who's skinny and fit, young-looking, with lots of hair? Sure, he's a bit disheveled, smells a bit...but the guy has muscles..not a trace of fat on his body. He could kick your butt, easy. And where does he get that mop-top? Does sleeping in a cardboard box make your hair grow (maybe I should try it)?...Anyway he's racing up the street with a steel shopping cart (yes, a shopping cart from your local Food Emporium) full of bottles loaded up in black or blue platic garbage bags. Well here in NYC I've seen a guy like this RACING to get to the next garbage can...so he can find all the empty cans and bottles and load them up in bags and put them in his cart and bring them to the local grocery store and redeem them for...5 CENTS EACH??

Now this guy works hard, man. That's why he's so thin and muscular. He's constantly on the move, lifting his heavy bags full of cans, hurtling down the streets. He knows his stuff too-- which streets get the most bottles, the best back alleys to search, what times are best for scavenging. And he knows he has competition..that's why he's frantic to get to the bins before the next guy...well, anyway I was thinking. Why doesn't this guy just...GET A JOB!!

I mean, he's shrewd, fit, energetic, industrious..if he got himself cleaned up, wore a suit and tie, and applied all this energy and intelligence to a job interview..well I'm sure he'd get the job! Then he could get himself off the street, start paying rent, start being a productive member of society...Yes...Maybe he's meet someone, get married, start a family...Wake up early everyday to go to work, day in, day out, buy a TV and watch it for hours with his family, eat lots of food, get nice and fat, buy lots of stuff, pay bills--car payments, mortgage, electric, cable, doctors, credit cards--spend time with the kids, go to sleep, commute to work, work all day, commute home, maybe share an intimate moment with his wife once in a while, sleep, wake up, go to work, go home, eat, watch TV, play with the kids, sleep...start all over again. Yep... The great AMERICAN DREAM....oh....OHHH...

Give me a shopping cart and plastic bags, baby, Move over brother, here I come!

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